Two and a Half Men

(09/22/2003–02/20/2015)

Comedy

(6.6)

CBS (US)30 min

Charlie is a well-to-do bachelor with a house at the beach, a Jaguar in the front, and an easy way with women. His casual Malibu lifestyle is interrupted when his tightly wound brother Alan, who's facing a divorce, and his son Jake, come to live with him. Together, these two and a half men confront the challenges of growing up; finally. Complicating matters are the brothers' self-obsessed, controlling mother, Evelyn, Alan's estranged wife, Judith and Charlie's crazy neighbor Rose, who wants to be a part of his life and is willing to do anything to be around. After the death of his brother, Alan Harper meets and befriends a lonely young man named Walden Schmidt who turns out to be a billionaire. Unable to afford his brother's home, Alan sells Walden the house, and as a way of showing his gratitude, Walden allows Alan and his son Jake to move in with him.

Source: unknown Two and a Half Men

Episodes

Season 1

S01E01

Pilot

September 23, 2003 at 01:00 AM

S01E02

Big Flappy Bastards

September 30, 2003 at 01:00 AM

S01E03

Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell

October 07, 2003 at 01:00 AM

S01E04

If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song I'm Going to Take a Nap

October 14, 2003 at 01:00 AM

S01E05

The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump

October 21, 2003 at 01:00 AM

S01E06

Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?

October 28, 2003 at 02:00 AM

S01E07

If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake

November 04, 2003 at 02:00 AM

S01E08

Twenty-Five Little Pre-pubers Without a Snoot-ful

November 11, 2003 at 02:00 AM

S01E09

Phase One, Complete

November 18, 2003 at 02:00 AM

S01E10

Merry Thanksgiving

November 25, 2003 at 02:00 AM

S01E11

Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

December 16, 2003 at 02:00 AM

S01E12

Camel Filters + Pheromones

January 06, 2004 at 02:00 AM

S01E13

Sarah Like Puny Alan

January 13, 2004 at 02:00 AM

S01E14

I Can't Afford Hyenas

February 03, 2004 at 02:00 AM

S01E15

Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick (1)

February 10, 2004 at 02:00 AM

S01E16

That Was Saliva, Alan (2)

February 17, 2004 at 02:00 AM

S01E17

Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats

February 24, 2004 at 02:00 AM

S01E18

An Old Flame with a New Wick

March 02, 2004 at 02:00 AM

S01E19

I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You

March 23, 2004 at 02:00 AM

S01E20

Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark

April 20, 2004 at 01:00 AM

S01E21

No Sniffing, No Wowing

May 04, 2004 at 01:00 AM

S01E22

My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet

May 11, 2004 at 01:00 AM

S01E23

Just Like Buffalo

May 18, 2004 at 01:00 AM

S01E24

Can You Feel My Finger?

May 25, 2004 at 01:00 AM

Season 2

S02E01

Back Off, Mary Poppins

September 21, 2004 at 01:30 AM

S02E02

Enjoy Those Garlic Balls

September 28, 2004 at 01:30 AM

S02E03

A Bag Full of Jawea

October 05, 2004 at 01:30 AM

S02E04

Go Get Mommy's Bra

October 12, 2004 at 01:30 AM

S02E05

Bad News from the Clinic?

October 19, 2004 at 01:30 AM

S02E06

The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance

October 26, 2004 at 01:30 AM

S02E07

A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana

November 09, 2004 at 02:00 AM

S02E08

Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers

November 16, 2004 at 02:30 AM

S02E09

Yes, Monsignor

November 23, 2004 at 02:30 AM

S02E10

The Salmon Under My Sweater

November 30, 2004 at 02:30 AM

S02E11

Last Chance to See Those Tattoos

December 14, 2004 at 02:30 AM

S02E12

A Lung Full of Alan

January 04, 2005 at 02:30 AM

S02E13

Zejdz Zmoich Wlosow

January 18, 2005 at 02:30 AM

S02E14

Those Big Pink Things with Coconuts

February 01, 2005 at 02:30 AM

S02E15

Smell the Umbrella Stand

February 08, 2005 at 02:30 AM

S02E16

Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth?

February 15, 2005 at 02:30 AM

S02E17

Woo-Hoo, a Hernia Exam!

February 22, 2005 at 02:00 AM

S02E18

It was 'Mame,' Mom

March 08, 2005 at 02:30 AM

S02E19

A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise

March 22, 2005 at 02:30 AM

S02E20

I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey

April 19, 2005 at 01:30 AM

S02E21

A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On

May 03, 2005 at 01:30 AM

S02E22

That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother

May 10, 2005 at 01:30 AM

S02E23

Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab

May 17, 2005 at 01:30 AM

S02E24

Does This Smell Funny to You?

May 24, 2005 at 01:00 AM

Season 3

S03E01

Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts

September 20, 2005 at 01:00 AM

S03E02

Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover

September 27, 2005 at 01:00 AM

S03E03

Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark

October 04, 2005 at 01:00 AM

S03E04

Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs

October 11, 2005 at 01:00 AM

S03E05

We Called It Mr. Pinky

October 18, 2005 at 01:00 AM

S03E06

Hi, Mr. Horned One

October 25, 2005 at 01:00 AM

S03E07

Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop

November 08, 2005 at 02:00 AM

S03E08

That Voodoo That I Do Do

November 15, 2005 at 02:00 AM

S03E09

Madame and Her Special Friend

November 22, 2005 at 02:00 AM

S03E10

Something Salted and Twisted

November 29, 2005 at 02:00 AM

S03E11

Santa's Village of the Damned

December 20, 2005 at 02:00 AM

S03E12

That Special Tug

January 10, 2006 at 02:00 AM

S03E13

Humiliation Is a Visual Medium

January 24, 2006 at 02:00 AM

S03E14

Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded

February 07, 2006 at 02:00 AM

S03E15

My Tongue Is Meat

February 28, 2006 at 02:00 AM

S03E16

Ergo, the Booty Call

March 07, 2006 at 02:00 AM

S03E17

The Unfortunate Little Schnauser

March 14, 2006 at 02:00 AM

S03E18

The Spit-Covered Cobbler

March 21, 2006 at 02:00 AM

S03E19

Golly Moses, She's a Muffin

April 11, 2006 at 01:00 AM

S03E20

Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro

April 25, 2006 at 01:00 AM

S03E21

And the Plot Moistens

May 02, 2006 at 01:00 AM

S03E22

Just Once with Aunt Sophie

May 09, 2006 at 01:00 AM

S03E23

Arguments for the Quickie

May 16, 2006 at 01:00 AM

S03E24

That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite

May 23, 2006 at 01:00 AM

Season 4

S04E01

Working for Caligula

September 19, 2006 at 01:00 AM

S04E02

Who's Vod Kanockers?

September 26, 2006 at 01:00 AM

S04E03

The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress

October 03, 2006 at 01:00 AM

S04E04

A Pot Smoking Monkey

October 10, 2006 at 01:00 AM

S04E05

A Live Woman of Proven Fertility

October 17, 2006 at 01:00 AM

S04E06

Apologies for the Frivolity

October 24, 2006 at 01:00 AM

S04E07

Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head

November 07, 2006 at 02:00 AM

S04E08

Release the Dogs

November 14, 2006 at 02:00 AM

S04E09

Corey's Been Dead for an Hour

November 21, 2006 at 02:00 AM

S04E10

Kissing Abraham Lincoln

November 28, 2006 at 02:00 AM

S04E11

Walnuts and Demerol

December 12, 2006 at 02:00 AM

S04E12

Castrating Sheep in Montana

January 09, 2007 at 02:00 AM

S04E13

Don't Worry, Speed Racer

January 23, 2007 at 02:00 AM

S04E14

That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami

February 06, 2007 at 02:00 AM

S04E15

My Damn Stalker

February 13, 2007 at 02:00 AM

S04E16

Young People Have Phlegm Too

February 20, 2007 at 02:00 AM

S04E17

I Merely Slept with a Commie

February 27, 2007 at 02:00 AM

S04E18

It Never Rains in Hooterville

March 20, 2007 at 01:00 AM

S04E19

Smooth As a Ken Doll

April 10, 2007 at 01:00 AM

S04E20

Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot

April 17, 2007 at 01:00 AM

S04E21

Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous

April 24, 2007 at 01:00 AM

S04E22

Mr. McGlue's Feedbag

May 01, 2007 at 01:00 AM

S04E23

Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-lookin

May 08, 2007 at 01:00 AM

S04E24

Prostitutes and Gelato

May 15, 2007 at 12:30 AM

Season 5

S05E01

Large Birds, Spiders and Mom

September 25, 2007 at 01:00 AM

S05E02

Media Room Slash Dungeon

October 02, 2007 at 01:00 AM

S05E03

Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo

October 09, 2007 at 01:00 AM

S05E04

City of Great Racks

October 16, 2007 at 01:00 AM

S05E05

Putting Swim Fins on a Cat

October 23, 2007 at 01:00 AM

S05E06

Help Daddy Find His Toenail

October 30, 2007 at 01:00 AM

S05E07

Our Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room

November 06, 2007 at 02:00 AM

S05E08

Is There a Mrs. Waffles?

November 13, 2007 at 02:00 AM

S05E09

Tight's Good

November 20, 2007 at 02:00 AM

S05E10

Kinda Like Necrophilia

November 27, 2007 at 02:00 AM

S05E11

Meander to Your Dander

March 18, 2008 at 01:00 AM

S05E12

A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh

March 25, 2008 at 01:00 AM

S05E13

The Soil Is Moist

April 01, 2008 at 01:00 AM

S05E14

Winky-Dink Time

April 15, 2008 at 01:00 AM

S05E15

Rough Night in Hump Junction

April 22, 2008 at 01:00 AM

S05E16

Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty

April 29, 2008 at 01:00 AM

S05E17

Fish in a Drawer

May 06, 2008 at 01:00 AM

S05E18

If My Hole Could Talk

May 13, 2008 at 01:00 AM

S05E19

Waiting for the Right Snapper

May 20, 2008 at 01:00 AM

Season 6

S06E01

Taterhead Is Our Love Child

September 23, 2008 at 01:00 AM

S06E02

Pie Hole, Herb

September 30, 2008 at 01:00 AM

S06E03

Damn You, Eggs Benedict

October 07, 2008 at 01:00 AM

S06E04

The Flavin' and the Mavin'

October 14, 2008 at 01:00 AM

S06E05

A Jock Strap in Hell

October 21, 2008 at 01:00 AM

S06E06

It's Always Nazi Week

November 04, 2008 at 02:00 AM

S06E07

Best H.O. Money Can Buy

November 11, 2008 at 02:00 AM

S06E08

Pinocchio's Mouth

November 18, 2008 at 02:00 AM

S06E09

The Mooch at the Boo

November 25, 2008 at 02:00 AM

S06E10

He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited

December 09, 2008 at 02:00 AM

S06E11

The Devil's Lube

December 16, 2008 at 02:00 AM

S06E12

Thank God for Scoliosis

January 13, 2009 at 02:00 AM

S06E13

I Think You Offended Don

January 20, 2009 at 02:00 AM

S06E14

David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie

February 03, 2009 at 02:00 AM

S06E15

I'd Like to Start with the Cat

February 10, 2009 at 02:00 AM

S06E16

She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime

March 03, 2009 at 02:00 AM

S06E17

The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'?

March 10, 2009 at 01:00 AM

S06E18

My Son's Enormous Head

March 17, 2009 at 01:00 AM

S06E19

The Two Finger Rule

March 31, 2009 at 01:00 AM

S06E20

Hello, I Am Alan Cousteau

April 14, 2009 at 01:00 AM

S06E21

Above Exalted Cyclops

April 28, 2009 at 01:00 AM

S06E22

Sir Lancelot's Litter Box

May 05, 2009 at 01:00 AM

S06E23

Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth

May 12, 2009 at 01:00 AM

S06E24

Baseball with Better Steroids

May 19, 2009 at 01:00 AM

Season 7

S07E01

818-jklpuzo

September 22, 2009 at 01:00 AM

S07E02

Whipped Unto the Third Generation

September 29, 2009 at 01:00 AM

S07E03

Mmm, Fish. Yum.

October 06, 2009 at 01:00 AM

S07E04

Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator

October 13, 2009 at 01:00 AM

S07E05

For the Sake of the Child

October 20, 2009 at 01:00 AM

S07E06

Give Me Your Thumb

November 03, 2009 at 02:00 AM

S07E07

Untainted by Filth

November 10, 2009 at 02:00 AM

S07E08

Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.

November 17, 2009 at 02:00 AM

S07E09

Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair

November 24, 2009 at 02:00 AM

S07E10

That's Why They Call It Ball Room

December 08, 2009 at 02:00 AM

S07E11

Warning, It's Dirty

December 15, 2009 at 02:00 AM

S07E12

Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste

January 12, 2010 at 02:00 AM

S07E13

Yay, No Polyps!

January 19, 2010 at 02:00 AM

S07E14

Crude and Uncalled For

February 02, 2010 at 02:00 AM

S07E15

Aye, Aye, Captain

February 09, 2010 at 02:00 AM

S07E16

Tinkle Like a Princess

March 02, 2010 at 02:00 AM

S07E17

I Found Your Moustache

March 09, 2010 at 02:00 AM

S07E18

Ixnay on the Oggie Day

March 23, 2010 at 01:00 AM

S07E19

Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave

April 13, 2010 at 01:00 AM

S07E20

I Called Him Magoo

May 11, 2010 at 01:00 AM

S07E21

Gumby with a Pokey

May 18, 2010 at 01:00 AM

S07E22

This Is Not Gonna End Well

May 25, 2010 at 01:00 AM

Season 8

S08E01

Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud

September 21, 2010 at 01:00 AM

S08E02

A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer

September 28, 2010 at 01:00 AM

S08E03

A Pudding-Filled Cactus

October 05, 2010 at 01:00 AM

S08E04

Hookers, Hookers, Hookers

October 12, 2010 at 01:00 AM

S08E05

The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel

October 19, 2010 at 01:00 AM

S08E06

Twanging Your Magic Clanger

October 26, 2010 at 01:00 AM

S08E07

The Crazy Bitch Gazette

November 02, 2010 at 01:00 AM

S08E08

Springtime on a Stick

November 09, 2010 at 02:00 AM

S08E09

A Good Time in Central Africa

November 16, 2010 at 02:00 AM

S08E10

Ow, Ow, Don't Stop

November 23, 2010 at 02:00 AM

S08E11

Dead from the Waist Down

December 07, 2010 at 02:00 AM

S08E12

Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead

December 14, 2010 at 02:00 AM

S08E13

Skunk, Dog, Crap and Ketchup

January 04, 2011 at 02:00 AM

S08E14

Lookin' for Japanese Subs

January 18, 2011 at 02:00 AM

S08E15

Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak

February 08, 2011 at 02:00 AM

S08E16

That Darn Priest

February 15, 2011 at 02:00 AM

Season 9

S09E01

Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt

September 20, 2011 at 01:00 AM

S09E02

People Who Love Peepholes

September 27, 2011 at 01:00 AM

S09E03

Big Girls Don't Throw Food

October 04, 2011 at 01:00 AM

S09E04

Nine Magic Fingers

October 11, 2011 at 01:00 AM

S09E05

A Giant Cat Holding a Churro

October 18, 2011 at 01:00 AM

S09E06

The Squat and the Hover

October 25, 2011 at 01:00 AM

S09E07

Those Fancy Japanese Toilets

November 01, 2011 at 01:00 AM

S09E08

Thank You for the Intercourse

November 08, 2011 at 02:00 AM

S09E09

Frodo's Headshots

November 15, 2011 at 02:00 AM

S09E10

A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes

November 22, 2011 at 02:00 AM

S09E11

What a Lovely Landing Strip

December 06, 2011 at 02:00 AM

S09E12

One False Move, Zimbabwe!

December 13, 2011 at 02:00 AM

S09E13

Slowly and in a Circular Fashion

January 03, 2012 at 02:00 AM

S09E14

A Possum on Chemo

January 17, 2012 at 02:00 AM

S09E15

The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack

February 07, 2012 at 02:00 AM

S09E16

Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy

February 14, 2012 at 02:00 AM

S09E17

Not in My Mouth!

February 21, 2012 at 02:00 AM

S09E18

The War Against Gingivitis

February 28, 2012 at 02:00 AM

S09E19

Palmdale, Ech

March 20, 2012 at 01:00 AM

S09E20

Grandma's Pie

April 10, 2012 at 01:00 AM

S09E21

Mr. Hose Says 'Yes'

April 17, 2012 at 01:00 AM

S09E22

Why We Gave Up Women

May 01, 2012 at 01:00 AM

S09E23

The Straw in My Donut Hole

May 08, 2012 at 01:00 AM

S09E24

Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!

May 15, 2012 at 01:00 AM

Season 10

S10E01

I Changed My Mind About the Milk

September 28, 2012 at 12:31 AM

S10E02

A Big Bag of Dog

October 05, 2012 at 12:31 AM

S10E03

Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt

October 12, 2012 at 12:31 AM

S10E04

You Do Know What the Lollipop's For

October 19, 2012 at 12:31 AM

S10E05

That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam

October 26, 2012 at 12:31 AM

S10E06

Ferrets, Attack!

November 02, 2012 at 12:31 AM

S10E07

Avoid the Chinese Mustard

November 09, 2012 at 01:31 AM

S10E08

Something My Gynecologist Said

November 16, 2012 at 01:31 AM

S10E09

I Scream When I Pee

November 30, 2012 at 01:31 AM

S10E10

One Nut Johnson

December 07, 2012 at 01:31 AM

S10E11

Give Santa a Tail-Hole

December 14, 2012 at 01:31 AM

S10E12

Welcome to Alancrest

January 04, 2013 at 01:31 AM

S10E13

Grab a Feather and Get in Line

January 11, 2013 at 01:31 AM

S10E14

Run, Steven Staven! Run!

February 01, 2013 at 01:31 AM

S10E15

Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It

February 08, 2013 at 01:31 AM

S10E16

Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby

February 15, 2013 at 01:31 AM

S10E17

Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries

February 22, 2013 at 01:31 AM

S10E18

The 9:04 from Pemberton

March 08, 2013 at 01:31 AM

S10E19

Big Episode. Someone Stole a Spoon

March 15, 2013 at 12:31 AM

S10E20

Bazinga! That's from a TV Show

April 05, 2013 at 12:31 AM

S10E21

Another Night with Neil Diamond

April 26, 2013 at 12:31 AM

S10E22

My Bodacious Vidalia

May 03, 2013 at 12:31 AM

S10E23

Cows, Prepare to Be Tipped

May 10, 2013 at 12:31 AM

Season 11

S11E01

Nangnangnangnang

September 27, 2013 at 01:31 AM

S11E02

I Think I Banged Lucille Ball

October 04, 2013 at 01:31 AM

S11E03

This Unblessed Biscuit

October 11, 2013 at 01:31 AM

S11E04

Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank

October 18, 2013 at 01:31 AM

S11E05

Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003

October 25, 2013 at 01:31 AM

S11E06

Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants

November 08, 2013 at 02:31 AM

S11E07

Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie

November 15, 2013 at 02:31 AM

S11E08

Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room.

November 22, 2013 at 02:31 AM

S11E09

Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer

December 06, 2013 at 02:31 AM

S11E10

On Vodka, on Soda, on Blender, on Mixer!

December 13, 2013 at 02:31 AM

S11E11

Tazed in the Lady Nuts

January 03, 2014 at 02:31 AM

S11E12

Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball.

January 10, 2014 at 02:31 AM

S11E13

Bite Me, Supreme Court

January 31, 2014 at 02:31 AM

S11E14

Three Fingers of Crème de Menthe

February 07, 2014 at 02:31 AM

S11E15

Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin

February 28, 2014 at 02:00 AM

S11E16

How to Get Rid of Alan Harper

March 07, 2014 at 02:00 AM

S11E17

Welcome Home, Jake

March 14, 2014 at 01:00 AM

S11E18

West Side Story

April 04, 2014 at 01:00 AM

S11E19

Lan Mao Shi Zai Wuding Shang

April 11, 2014 at 01:00 AM

S11E20

Lotta Delis in Little Armenia

April 25, 2014 at 01:00 AM

S11E21

Dial 1-900-Mix-a-Lot

May 02, 2014 at 01:00 AM

S11E22

Oh WALD-E, Good Times Ahead

May 09, 2014 at 01:00 AM

Season 12

S12E01

The Ol' Mexican Spinach

October 31, 2014 at 01:00 AM

S12E02

A Chic Bar in Ibiza

November 07, 2014 at 02:00 AM

S12E03

Glamping in a Yurt

November 14, 2014 at 02:00 AM

S12E04

Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight

November 21, 2014 at 02:00 AM

S12E05

Oontz. Oontz. Oontz.

November 28, 2014 at 02:00 AM

S12E06

Alan Shot a Little Girl

December 05, 2014 at 02:00 AM

S12E07

Sex with an Animated Ed Asner

December 12, 2014 at 02:00 AM

S12E08

Family, Bublé, Deep-fried Turkey

December 19, 2014 at 02:00 AM

S12E09

Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey

January 09, 2015 at 02:00 AM

S12E10

Here I Come, Pants!

January 16, 2015 at 02:00 AM

S12E11

For Whom the Booty Calls

January 23, 2015 at 02:00 AM

S12E12

A Beer-Battered Rip-Off

January 30, 2015 at 02:00 AM

S12E13

Boompa Loved His Hookers

February 06, 2015 at 02:00 AM

S12E14

Don't Give a Monkey a Gun

February 13, 2015 at 02:00 AM

S12E15

Of Course He's Dead - Part One

February 20, 2015 at 02:00 AM

S12E16

Of Course He's Dead - Part Two

February 20, 2015 at 02:30 AM